Advice for Working Moms: Quit Your Job as the Maid

Working mothers are notorious in our society for juggling responsibilities and multi-tasking like pros, but despite polished appearances, most working moms strive for one thing above all else: balance. In over twenty years of working with parents, Vicki Hoefle of Parenting on Track™ has developed a program to help working mothers achieve that ultimate—and often elusive—goal. 

“Finding balance means creating space for what matters the most, and establishing a home in which every member of the family is taking responsibility for their own lives,” says Hoefle.

The first step is to discover where you are today, and then define where you want to go. What values or beliefs are you holding onto about being a “good mother” that you can let go of? What are you doing for your children that they can do for themselves?

Make a list of everything that has to happen in order to keep the household running smoothly every day and break it into three categories:

1. Things my children do for themselves.

2. Things my children can do but won’t.

3. Areas where I need to train my children.

Once you’ve identified where your children are capable, never do something for them that they can do for themselves. Quit cold turkey. It may be messy for a while—remember they’re used to having a maid and personal assistant and will be reluctant to let that go—but keep in mind that you are creating space to form a strong and positive relationship with your child.

The next step is to set a timeline for training. Help your children to set goals and remember to encourage them and notice where and how they are improving.

Finally, take time every day to connect with your child, even if it’s only for 10 minutes. Like adults, children will cooperate when they feel respected and loved. Stop multi-tasking, listen to what they are saying, and ask questions. The more you can feed that emotional connection between you and your child, the more they will be willing to take an active role in their own lives and in your home.

Vicki Hoefle will be holding three workshops in the Boston area this fall. All events are open to the public. Please visit www.parentingontrack.com or 888-660-7668 for more information or to register.

Thursday, Nov. 12 at 7 p.m.

Parent Talk, Needham

Needham Golf Club

Friday, Nov. 13 at 6:30 p.m.

Plymouth House Nursery School, Framingham

Sunday, Nov. 15 at 1 p.m.

Isis Maternity, Prudential Building, Boston