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2009 P&K Rookie Guide
The latest trends in parenting
By Heather Kempskie & Ursula Furi-Perry, Esq.
Welcome to Planet Parenthood. Read, learn and become inspired.Parenthood is nothing new but it may be new to you. P&K has put together a complete listing of the latest trends in parenting. Read this and you'll be the envy of everyone at the playground!
A CALL TO ACTION
“What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world...”
Barack Obama’s Inaugural Address
As more Massachusetts family struggle to survive in the economic downturn with lost jobs and homes, there emerges a great desire among many to make a difference and lend a helping hand. Local mom Tina Graf refers to the movement as a call to action.
“Just recently my old company filed for bankruptcy meaning a lot of my friends will be out of jobs. I feel this economic crisis is starting to hit closer to home for me than I realized,” she said. “I think there has got to be something more I and my family can be doing. Maybe more volunteering at schools, I am not sure yet but I know things will change.”
Karen Boss, director of programs at Boston Cares, notes a few factors inspiring families to make a difference. “I think people see the need and President Obama’s Inauguration being the day after MLK Day, which has rapidly become a recognized day of service, set the tone for service in 2009 and beyond,” she said.
In fact, Boston Cares was anticipating about 240 volunteers to turn out for the annual MLK Day Project and instead received help from more than 350. Visit www.bostoncares.org to get involved.
BABYSITTING MADE EASY WITH MOMMY MIXERS
A babysitter. Everyone needs one, but unless you have an available grandparent or a reliable teenager living next door, you may have a tough time finding one. Enter Mommy Mixers, a hot new networking event making its way to Boston. As chief founding mama, Mary Sullivan Cooper, says these Mommy Mixers give moms a chance to meet great babysitters and in turn gives some local, qualified babysitters a long list of job leads.
“I believe it’s so important to have good old fashioned face to face meet ups with potential sitters versus online searches or moms having to schedule interviews all by themselves,” says Cooper. “We offer a chance for moms to go out to a hip or fun boutique and meet 20 sitters in an hour.”
Quick note: The group is looking for a Boston-based mom to serve as city manager and coordinate future Boston Mommy Mixer events. Visit www.mommymixer.com for more info.
Online babysitter resources:
BLOGGING: THE ALTERNATIVE PLAYGROUP
“I also find that social networking offers an amazingly effective way to canvas for ideas and get feedback,” Koh says.
For Koh, blogging affords a platform for self-expression and reconnection.“The modern parenting journey is so complex and I think people are eager to feel connected, especially over the challenging parenting issues that used to be taboo to discuss,” she says.
GOING GREEN, BABY
Right out of the gate, new parents are making conscious decisions to live a green lifestyle. Those with older children are changing their lifestyles to reflect this movement too.
For Kurt Olson, a professor at the Massachusetts School of Law who lectures on global climate change and other environmental issues, “Green parenting means setting a green example for your kids to follow. This example should include placing limits on consumption, recycling, reducing, reusing, and treating the Earth and all its creatures with appropriate respect.” Olson teaches by simple examples to his own kids: for instance, separating recyclables, limiting the time spent on showers, turning the thermostat down at night, and putting the rug under the door to cancel the draft.
To get kids involved, Olson recommends keeping things fun. “I would emphasize that you have to make it a fun thing to do, or an adventure, or a special event that keeps kids awake,” he says. As an example, Olson planted a vegetable garden and got the kids to join in with hoes, water hoses, and plastic trowels. “Everybody got muddy and wet, the cuttings made it into the ground, and the kids had a great time,” he recounts.
As more kids and families strive to make lifestyle changes that incorporate organic and natural products, major retailers like Toys“R”Us and Babies“R”Us have expanded their assortment of earth-friendly products.
“Bibs and food were the first organic items available,” says Jamie Beal, Spokesperson, Toys“R”Us. “And the product selection has continued to grow to include skincare and cleaning products, layette, apparel, bedding, and baby gear from companies such as Gerber, Summer Infant, Serta, Earth’s Best and Seventh Generation, among others.”
Toys R Us also introduced an exclusive line of environmentally friendly toys and now has “green” gift cards available for purchase. Rather than plastic ones, these cards are biodegradable, made from recycled plastic or crafted from corn.
STAY AT HOME DADS
The trend is definitely on the upswing, says Peter Baylies, a North Andover stay-at-home dad, founder or www.AtHomeDad.org, and author of the Stay-at-Home Dad Workbook. “One of the reasons it can happen is because of the economy,” explains Baylies, with some fathers opting to stay home after a layoff or in the event that it makes more financial sense for their wives or partners to go to work.
The internet has also revolutionized the trend, Baylies adds. “A lot of dads end up working at home and staying at home with the kids at the same time,” he says. Some, Baylies says, are even finding ways to involve their kids in child-friendly businesses: Baylies recalls one former working dad who founded a computer tutoring company and takes his child with him to sessions.
Like many other dads, Baylies chose to stay home in 1993 after being laid off, and he says his choice has allowed him to grow closer to his two boys, now 12 and 15, and help mold their goals and interests. “You learn how to enjoy being home with your kids,” Baylies says—for example, he encouraged his sons to play musical instruments at an early age; now, both sons enjoy making music, with one selected for the Boston Youth Symphony Orchestra and the all-state band in Massachusetts.
Baylies says the biggest challenge new stay-at-home dads may face lies in feeling isolated, as well as getting used to the role reversal with their wives and partners. Stay-at-home dads can greatly benefit from reaching out to other dads, Baylies says, such as by networking online—Baylies’ website, for example, offers tips for starting a local play group.
YOGA FOR BABIES
You read this right. Yoga for babies. Parents are raving about the benefits that this ancient art offers to the tiniest of beings – it helps baby sleep longer, digest better and grow stronger. And we have a Massachusetts mom to thank for this invention. Helen Garabedian founded Itsy Bitsy Yoga when she desired to share her passion for yoga with her baby.
Now 10 years later, with books, DVDs and training programs under her belt nearly thousands of babies have enjoyed the bonding experience that only yoga can provide. Cute poses like “Dinosaur,” “I Love You,” and “Tiny Tugs” make up the program and are designed for babies as young as 3 weeks old and up to preschool age-children.
Bellingham mom Lisa Hanson, who was trained by Garabedian, says it a wonderful bonding experience for first-time parents.
“Life can seem so busy especially to new parents,” she says. “Itsy Bitsy Yoga provides the moments to quietly bond with your baby, to help them grow stronger, digest better and even sleep longer. It is an environment where parents can feel taken care of too and everyone could use a little of that these days1”
Local classes are available at the Y and other maternity-based stores throughout the greater Boston area.
ALL ABOUT MOM BABY SHOWERS
Rubber duckies are cute and Teddy bears are adorable but lately moms-to-be are longing for something a bit more hip and trendy to celebrate their entry into motherhood. Enter the super trendy baby shower scene. How does this sound? An esthetician visits your home before the baby shower for a make-up application and some hairstyling so you can go looking good. At the shower, you sit back and sip on some mocktails (dry, tasty drinks) using real margarita cups. Sounds good to us.
“We live in a society where most every woman loves style and she’s not going to give up on that when she becomes a mom,” says Bryan Rafanelli, founder of Rafanelli Events in Boston. “I work with many women who are having babies and they desperately want to hold onto their sense of self. Why not host a party that reflects their style? Many moms want to be reminded there will be more to their life than diapers.”
The food has become more sophisticated too. Forget the standard finger foods; go for some of the mom-to-be’s personal favorites, says Sandee Tisdale of Perfecting Expecting – a Boston-based baby planning business.
“A lot of our clients are older now. It used to be that baby showers and even bridal showers were to ‘set up’ the couple with basic items that they’ll need,” said ? “Now that many of these couples already have a home and they have tastes of their own, friends are throwing baby showers that are simple and elegant.:
Forget the diaper or bottle centerpieces and instead try the mom-to-be’s favorite fresh flowers. Skip the standard baby blue or green color schemes and pick her favorite colors.
NAMES TO REFLECT THE TIMES
“I believe that baby names are subject to fashion just like hemlines on women’s dresses,” explains Bruce Lansky, author of “The Five Star Baby Name Advisor.” “It’s a fairly well-known fact that hemlines typically come down during bad economic times and go up during good times. Think of the sexy flapper dresses of the ‘20s.”
During bad times, parents are more likely to favor time-tested classic names (like William, Michael and Matthew) over trendier names (like Tyler, Cole and Caden) for boys. Although Neveah (Heaven spelled backwards) has been one of the fastest rising girl’s names over the last five years, Lansky hopes that more “classic” girl’s names with a spiritual theme (like Faith, Hope, and Grace) will make a comeback.
In the book, “Baby Names Made Easy: More than 20,000 Names Organized by Meaning,” you’ll find the names Brianna and Maynard under strength and Jessica and Othello under success and wealth. Something to consider…
RISE OF ELECTIVE C-SECTIONS
Having a baby? For many moms, planned C-sections are the way to go. According to BabyZone,com, c-sections are the most frequently performed major surgery in the U.S.
There are several reasons for the growing trend: some moms-to-be simply prefer the convenience of knowing when and where they’ll have their babies; others want to take the guesswork and surprises out of the many medical issues that may pop up during natural childbirth. Some moms opt for a subsequent C-section after having a Caesarian delivery, though vaginal births after a Caesarian are also rising, whereas once doctors would steer clear of VBAC’s. Some even suggest that the popularity of elective C-sections has been spurred by celebrity surgeries—Madonna, for example, reportedly elected to deliver via Caesarian.
Some doctors caution against routinely planned C-sections, citing an increased chance of infection, pain, trouble with breastfeeding, and rehospitalization as some reasons against elective C-section surgery.
But the trend towards many moms preferring to give birth via C-section isn’t likely to go away: a 2004 article in the Boston Globe reported a small but growing trend toward elective C-sections, and cited that elective C-sections increased by 20 percent in both the United States and Massachusetts between 1999 and 2001, having grown even more since then.
GENETIC TESTING
Another parenting trend on the rise is genetic testing, such as amniocentesis and chorionic vili sampling, as well as genetic carrier testing in parents prior to conceiving a child. “There’s certainly an increase in genetic testing in [terms of] what’s become available to people,” says Katherine Economy, M.D., M.P.H. of Brigham & Women’s Hospital who is also an instructor at Harvard Medical School. Part of that increase is due to better technology and the availability of more tests, Economy says.
But more importantly, there’s also an increase in dialogue and information. “People are making much more informed choices,” she says. Doctors are routinely offering more counseling, and parents-to-be are offered the option of genetic testing rather than just being given the tests, Economy says. “It’s about information, knowledge, and control,” she says.
The tests tend to perform better in women who are older, Economy says, simply because the performance of any test increases with how common the disease tends to be among the population being tested—and the incidence of many diseases for which doctors test can increase with age.
Still, all parents-to-be can consider genetic testing and counseling. “A good question to ask your doctors is if they think you need to see a genetic counselor,” says Economy, who can help screen parents and assess their risks.
HOMESCHOOLING IN YOUR FUTURE?
According to the U.S Department of Education, homeschooling has grown 7 percent per year over the last four years. Today an estimated 1.6–2.0 million children are being taught at home by their parents. Bellingham mom Karen Kolp is one of those parents.
“Contrary to the conventional wisdom that parents homeschool their children primarily for religious or 'values' reasons, many parents homeschool because they believe that they can do a better job educating their children themselves,” says Kolp.
Arlington mom & media spokesperson for the Advocates for Home Education in Massachusetts, Inc. Sophia Sayigh, says that homeschooling is not a movement but rather an education option that more and more people are considering.
“The biggest misconception is that people think homeschooled children are socially isolated. That’s far from truth,” says Sayigh. “There is a growing network of other homeschooling families and kids do things together – it’s very community orientated.”
To read more about this mom’s experiences, read her blog at StoneAgeTechie.
Heather Kempskie is the editor of P&K. Ursula Furi-Perry is an attorney, adjunct professor, and mom of three boys in Haverhill.
